Wednesday Wednesday! The Great X-Factor Homage Mystery

It's that time of year again. Time for Simon Cowell to smugly smirk his way to the bank and Louis Walsh to piss and bitch and threaten to quit, and he really means it this time.

But despite my best attempts to avoid this wretched festival of auto-tune and humiliation, certain tidbits seem to seep through into my daily intake every fucking year. And what's really piqued my interest this time around is the naming of one of the girl groups.

This group of dowdy young things, pictured above, go by the name of Belle Amie.

Belle Amie, Bell Amee, Bellamy.

Yes these girls have obviously been so affected by someone by the name of Bellamy, they thought to name their desperate stab at fleeting fame after them. But who is this influential figure, this totem of virtue and inspiration that has so impressed themselves upon these impressionable young ladies? Well, I have a few theories.

1) Craig Bellamy
This no-necked Welsh footballer with his simian brow seems like an odd choice for some sweet young poplets to name themselves after. Famed for his bad boy attitude and assaulting a team-mate with a golf club, this is maybe an outside shot.

2)Matt Bellamy
One of the nice guys of rock and roll, the front-man of Muse seems like another odd choice. With his falsetto voice and indulgent guitar riffs he is, at least, one step closer to the girls' choice of career, but they don't seem as concerned with such weighty themes as the apocalypse and desperation in the face of seeming unimportance as he is.

3)David Bellamy

Noted environmental activist and television personality David Bellamy was one of the first people to raise concerns over man's impact on nature. With his television appearances and books such as 1989's 'The Greenhouse Effect' he voiced his concerns to the British public. He also voiced an advert for Ribena. Maybe the girls are big blackcurrant fans?


So there we have it. After an extensive bout of research, I am no closer to finding out the truth in this elusive mystery. Are these four girls, chasing the dreams of fame and fortune like so many before them, Welsh football fans? Or do they secretly hold dreams of becoming the next stadium rock sensation? Or do they simply really love juice?

Wednesday Wednesday! Someone Seems to Have Missed the Point

But It's certainly not these ladies.

No, It's actually a group of Cheerleaders from a Connecticut high school, who have recently complained to their local school board because their cheerleading uniforms are too revealing.

One of them confronted the board with this question;

“I am embarrassed to stand up here dressed like this. Is this really how you want Bridgeport to be represented?”

So let's take a moment to mull this over, because she's hit them with a real puzzler. Do you want your town represented by a bunch of attractive, athletic and enthusiastic girls wearing slutty outfits?

Coming from a town that proudly displays the slogan 'A Nice Place to Shop' (which wasn't even true when it was originally proposed), I can say that the answer to that question is a definite fucking yes.

(As an aside, Naas is actually the name of the Celtic Goddess of Dreams, and the town is named after her because it is, according to legend, the site of her grave. So perhaps a more appropriate slogan for the town is 'Welcome to Naas; Where Dreams Go To Die')

Riding a segway to Heaven

In case you didn't know the millionaire owner of the company that makes Segways, Jimi Heselden, died on Sunday by driving off a cliff in England. Now this got me thinking about about Gob from Arrested Development (above), which in turn lead me to look for an update on the Arrested Development movie, which according to IMDB has 12,000 in-production titles. Now tell me that wasn't a good segue [pron. seg-way] get it?