...good odds on Tragedy (with a capital 't') UPDATE

its seems 12-5 on 'cocaine overdose' was extraordinarily generous...

Operation Payback Strikes Against The Happy Slap

Lonely nerd collective 'Anonymous' have struck out against The Happy Slap with a DDoS attack, as part of their irritating little campaign against 'the man'. Presumably The Happy Slap was targeted because of its important place at the forefront of the new media establishment. Some of the symptoms of the attack are failure to reach the site, lack of new posts appearing, and poor quality/unfunny material appearing consistently, and well behind the Zeitgeist. So, if you find yourself on the Happy Slap, confronted with something you don't find funny, or interesting, or remotely current (or even 'there'), its all Operation Payback's fault. You can get revenge by punching/kicking any nerdy children you see. Indiscriminate bullying is the way forward.

Wednesday Wednesday! Spare a Thought for Those Without a DS

Yes dear readers of the Happy Slap, in your multitudes you wailed and whined at the loss of your weekly wednesday shot of wisdom and whimsy. But fear not, because normal service has been resumed.

I could be humble, and claim that my absence was born of laziness, procrastination or a complete lack of ideas, but no. I owe the loyal readers of this blog the truth, even if it means I must embarassingly reveal my altruism and charitable nature.

You see, for the past several weeks, I have been travelling the globe, witnessing the impact on the lives of ordinary people of a terrible plight. Like Lenny Henry in the deserts of Africa watching impoverished people starve and having a bit of a cry, I have been visiting the homes around the world of those unlucky souls who do not own a Nintendo DS, in any of it's myriad forms.

But how can this be!? I hear you cry. I do not understand yet the causes, but I have seen the effects. Did you know that there are roughly 140 million DS' in the world? With an ever expanding population of 6.7 BILLION people this means there is only 1 Nintendo DS for every 48 people!

Even with Nintendo's emphasis on casual gaming, I think we can all agree that this imbalance needs to be addressed.

I know, I know - there's a time and a place for this sort of thing, and this isn't it, but...

Alison Brie: Delightful

...Community may have jumped the shark. I hate to say it. The NBC show, starring Chevy Chase, Joel McHale and the delightful Alison Brie (see picture. Nice, right?) had been my personal favourite. Only yesterday I was making my case for it to be the best show on TV. But that's all changed today...maybe. I just watched last week's episode, and it was a godawful preachy mess. While there were still a few choice jokes, and the performances were perfect as always, the horrendous 'anti-alcohol' message reeked of a particularly bad episode of 'Blossom'.
I'm hoping its temporary.. though 10 episodes in to a 24 episode run, it doesn't bode well. Maybe someone on the show died of alcohol poisoning, and they did it for his family. Or it could be part of the writer's community service. Yeah, thats my bet..

Smug Twats Enjoy Ice, Finally Have Use for Lidl Hiking Gear

Smug twats all over Dublin have finally had an excuse to break out their Lidl hiking gear in the last week, in an unbelievably irritating response to the recent cold weather. No doubt purchased at moderate expense sometime in the last 6 months, the gear is not quite up to hiking standard, but is perfectly suited as an adornment or decoration for their users, keen for all to know of their wholesome mores, and prudent planning. Unconfirmed reports have suggested that all people using hiking gear in the middle of the city centre have listed 'outdoors pursuits' as an interest on their respective CVs.

James Blunt saved the world!

I know I couldn't believe it either, however in an interview due to be aired on BBC radio 5 this evening James Blunt will explain how by defying a US General's orders and risking court martial he stopped World War 3 from happening. It just goes to show that no matter how cool a story you have it is still possible that everyone thinks your a twat.

-As a side note I would like to point out how difficult it is to get a funny picture of James Blunt. Thankfully, after much searching, I found one. Now while this picture is quite is crude it is the best of a bad bunch.

PWC Girls are diappointing, should sue, probably wont

Zeitgeist Ahoy! Only three days after the story broke, and only about 6 weeks after the email was in every inbox in the country (except mine. What do I have, leprecy?), you're favourite psuedo-news source has some witty and urbane comment to make on... the PRICEWATERHOUSECOOPER SEX SCANDAL.
That's probably overselling it - its not really a sex scandal. Its a sexism scandal, which is much less fun. But the real beauty about this story is that every right thinking person gets to be outraged at frat-boy esque shenanigans from PWC's neanderthal employees, but also, with the printing of the images, we can secretly rate the girls ourselves. For my part i'm a fan of (snip - Ed).
What really horrifed me though, was Tom Dunne's thoughts on it. "They'll be delighted", says Tom, "chuffed". Yes, of course, these young women who have worked through college to become professionals and get good jobs will be "delighted" that the men they have to work with every day refer to them as "new clunge", worthy of an FYI email to such luminaries as their mate , the estate agent from CBRE. This terrible sexist attitude led me to feel I need to balance it out, so I'm posting a link to Karen Owen's infamous (and probably NSFW unless you have a quite liberal boss, or a boss who has difficulty reading whats on your computer screen) Duke 'fuck list'.
The lovely Karen chose to round off her time at Duke University by detailing and ranking every athlete she had sex with in her time there, writing it up in a thesis format, using semi-academic language, and putting it in a power point to show her friends. Who, inevitably sent it all around the world. I like this girl's style - she's enough of a tramp to get around a lot, and do some crazy shit (library blowjob high five - READ THE THESIS), but also enough of a dork to do a powerpoint presentation about it. Shes supertramp. Not the band.